SBURB BETA

SB: ow DAMNIT!!
SB: a book just attacked me!
SB: hold on a second, what's this
Cam rubbed the back of his head and examined the Tome that had dishonorably backstabbed him.
Judging by the cover, it was about Strife and Sylladexes.

-- praetoricDiplomat [PD] began pestering comicalExcavationer [CE] --
PD: Hello my friend.

Cam flipped open the Strife Tome to the table of contents.

1. Strife Specibi & Kind Abstratus
2. Strifedecks
3. The Art Of Strife
4. Specibus Damage

He decided to start with the first chapter, seeing as he knew nothing.

A Kind Abstratus or Strife Specibus specifies the category of weaponry you are able to use during Strife. You begin life with a blank Specibus card, which you can allocate using virtually any object you can captchalogue. From abacusKind to zweihanderKind, the possibilities are endless. Additionally: any other objects you find that also fit the category can also be used in Strife...

-- comicalExcavaitioner [CE] began pestering senselessBastion [SB] --
CE:dude.
CE: sense Brohomie. That I have so MANY FUCKING BROOMS
CE: And I have used them countless times to break down my constantly repaired doors
CE: I'm totally gonna have broom kind as my Strife thing mannnnn
CE: I'm MAKING THIS HAPPEN MAN!

You alocate your broom into you Strife Specibus, it is now Alocated to broom kind!

CE: Dude man... Freaking sweeeeeeeeet.
CE: but prolly usless for the moment...

SB: truly!
SB: have any suggestions for my specibus?
SB: I'm going to go look for something that looks useful

Cam dug around in the messy piles of stuff he kept at the other end of his smallish octagonal room, searching for something to allocate. He finds a metal yo-yo, a slingshot, and a crappy plastic sword.
METAL YO YO
212122121 = 14%10=4
SLINGSHOT
221222212 = 16%10=6
CRAPPY PLASTIC SWORD
221222221221222122 = 32%10=2
Cam's NOTEBOOK flies into a wall. Not willing to leave it behind, he quickly re-captcha's it as a... PERSONAL LITERATURE CATALOGUE, figuring the more letters the higher the chance that he won't end up ejecting something else.
212212122121212121212121211 = 32%10=2
The CRAPPY PLASTIC SWORD is ejected, colliding with a picture on the wall and knocking it down. Cam facepalms, giving up on the sword for now.

SB: goddamnit HASH MAP
SB: anyway
SB: I found a metal yo-yo, a catapult (um, slingshot) and a stupid plastic sword...
SB: what do you think?
SB: or I guess I could look downstairs too, there's probably revolutionary war antiques and all sorts of stuff down there
SB: hash map is so ridiculously dangerous I hardly need a specibus anyway

SB: :D
SB: Alright bro-slice!
-- senselessBastion [SB] stopped pestering comicalExcavaitionar [CE] --

Cam grabbed a PAPERWEIGHT for good measure, and made for the stairs.
21212211222 = 18%10=[8]
The door was barred from the outside, as he knew it'd be. Luckily, he'd started keeping a screwdriver around for times like this. He removed the doorknob, reached through the hole and managed to shift the plank off of the brackets. He pushed the door open quietly, took a deep breath, and began his descent of the spiral staircase.

Name: Victor Petrovski
Chumhandle: australianUnicorn
Associated Favorite Color: Amethyst
Associated Periodic Element: Gold
Interests/Archetypal Persona: Potatoes, taxidermy. Crazy russian.
Appearance/Shirt Logo: Black sweatpants, purple hoodie, plaid shirt. Hammer and sickle.
House/Home/Lair/Craggy Mountain Roost etc/Guardian: N/A, Troll. Lives in the Veil.
Initial Beta Status: N/A, Troll.
Fetch Modus: Array
Strifekind (if allocated): Wristblade kind.

-- australianUnicorn [AU] began trolling comicalExcavaitionar [CE] --
AU: Hey Dude
AU: I Love You And Want To Eat Your Brooms
AU: I Think You Have Brooms, Right?
AU: Well I Like Polished Wood
AU: So I Am Going To Eat Your Brooms
AU: If Your Legs Are Shaved I Am Going To Douse Them In Vodka And Eat Them
AU: Yum.

-- comicalExcavaitionar [CE] started pestering senselessBastion [SB]

CE: LOL DUDE I'm being fucking troll'd dude!
CE: isn't that insane!?
CE: haven't they been like dormant for eons?

AU: I Do Have The Mental Capacity, I Just Dont Like Your Joke.
AU: But I Like Brooms Too, But I Seriously Want Your Shaved Legs. They Would Be Tasty With Vodka.
AU: I Think.
AU: Well, I'm Gonna Have To Eat Your Individual Fingers Too, If You Don't Mind.
AU: But By The Way
AU: I Like Screwing With You
AU: But I'm Not Actually Trying To Troll You
AU: I Just Want To Eat You
AU: Anyway, I Have To Go Take The Vodka From My Bro Again, I Think He's Gonna Eat Me
-- australianUnicorn [AU] ceased trolling comicalExcavaitionar [CE] --

Victor attempts to wrestle the bottle of vodka from his bro's grip, but fails. He uses his icicle wrist blades to break the bottle, stopping his bro from drinking any more. This of course leads to him being beaten by his bro, who then tries to gnaw on his legs, using the tiny remaining amount of vodka in the broken bottle to attempt to soak his own legs in, which seems pointless to Victor.

Cam put his hand on the lacquered railing, but stopped short when he heard his PesterChum tone playing. He figured it had to be important, so he went back to his computer.

SB: oh jees!
SB: that's a bad sign!
SB: you know what they say about trolls
SB: lololol

A redundant statement, though. An old urban legend had circled the web, a story taking place several million years ago, when civilization was destroyed in a cataclysmic meteor shower. Cam had never subscribed to this theory, figuring that if such a thing had happened, how would we know? No one lived to tell the tale...

A loud crash and a series of thuds resembling footsteps shook the tower, and Cam rushed to to shut and barricade the door before his sister could get in. He made it just in time, but then he realized that he was pretty much incapable of getting out now that he'd so thoroughly barricaded the only exit. He was stuck with either a yo-yo or a slingshot... what's this?

-- praetoricDiplomat [PD] began pestering senselessBastion [SB] --

PD: Hey SB, do you know that your name is also the atomic symbol for antimony?

You realize that he's probably doing some shit with a math problems or has had the sudden urge to pick up items, so you decide to explore your house. You walk over to your castle.. gate... door? what the fuck? how the hell did your uncle install a working castle drop bridge in the time span of 20 minutes that quickly. you don't fucking know. Anyways you pull the lever dropping the bridge gate, and you walk out. you go downstairs into your living room. There are "Knowing your Knobs" magazines everywhere, along with more paintings of houses and doors, also scribbled on with red marker. You decide to open a nearby walk in closet. oh shi-

SB: huh.
SB: Didn't know that
SB: but that's an interesting bit of trivia
SB: Say, doesn't PD indicate an element also?

Cam picked up his trusty PENCIL, a feeling of purpouse surging forth...
PENCIL
212212 = 10%10=0

A bag of SWEETS is suddenly ejected out of Cam's Sylladex. It smacks into the wall and splits open; gummy bears fly in all directions.

-it GOD DAMN! MORE FUCKING KNOBS!!! DOESN'T HE HAVE ENOUGH?!?! anyways the only thing left in the closet it a curious looking box. Meh why not. you take it (4/2 = 2) ERROR: MORE THAN ONE ITEM IN OBJECT SEPARATING (2/2 = 1) disks? were captchalogued into slot 1

what the hell are these? whatev' you go upstairs to find. your room haaas no.door.at,all... just great! how does he do it? no idea. is he gonna die? probably.. doesn't matter. you equip your old broom. and prepare to rip the wall a new asshole... suddenly a round object flies out of nowhere and knock your broom out of your hand. what the-